A lesson in Confidence
by FaireFighter
Summary: Integra has a bad day. Alucard makes it worse.


I dont' own Hellsing. Just a fan of Integra.

_The reason firm, the temperate will,  
Endurance, foresight, strength, and skill;  
A perfect woman, nobly planned,  
To warn, to comfort, and command._

_**--William Wordsworth**_

**A lesson in Confidence**

It was 9pm when Integra shoved open the door of the indoor firing range, smiling grimly as the heavy steel slammed against the concrete wall. She slapped a switch, turning on the lights in the entryway.

The last sortie in London's Cheapside had not gone well. Eight civilian dead and five of Hellsing's first response team were wounded. As usual she was blaming herself. She should have known the Freaks were there, it hadbeen a set up. She wished to God she knew who was behind this shit. They had defeated the enemy, but just barely. And now Hellsing resources were stretched to near breaking. There was simply too much to be done, and too few units ready to deploy. Men and materiel were in short supply, and the situation was rapidly deteriorating.

Tomorrow morning she would be forced to ask the council for help, and they would see this as weakness on her part. Once again they would infer she was too young, too inexperienced for the position of Director. They already questioned every decision, every action she took. Integra was sick unto death of the constant picking. They had just about convinced her that she had taken on more than she could handle, and she could afford no room for self doubt when there were others so willing to provide that service.

She slammed the heavy door closed behind her, the sound echoing off the walls of the bunker.

She unlocked the barred gate to the weapon storage, crossing to the ammunition lockers. She grabbed a box of practice rounds, slamming the steel door hard enough to bounce it back open. Glaring at the offending door, she slammed it closed only a little less violently. She turned and leaned back against the locker, taking a deep breath, calming herself. She wouldn't be able to hit the side of a mountain in her present mood, and she needed to spend a good couple of hours tearing holes in targets. Crappy shooting would just make her more frustrated. Hardly soothing.

And she needed soothing badly. She tipped her head back against the cold steel, staring at one of the overhead lights, forcing herself to relax. Pushing away from the locker, she stopped at a storage room to collect a few paper silhouettes and a pair of ear defenders, then went through to the practice range.

A movement at the far end of the range attracted her attention, one of the target retrievers was hissing along the track toward the stalls.

One of the new troops, a young Private still in uniform, was just clipping a target into the retriever when he noticed the Hellsing Director standing in the doorway, watching him. She didn't look pleased.

Private Daniels froze, staring at his commander, the paper target still clutched in his hand. No one was allowed on the range after dark, one of the first rules all new recruits were required to memorize. He was busted, and he had managed to get caught by the boss herself. He had transferred to Hellsing only last week, and now it looked like he'd be headed back to his old army unit in even less time He watched Sir Hellsing's rapid approach with a sick feeling.

He snapped to attention as she came to a halt in front of him, his eyes staring straight ahead, not daring to meet her annoyed gaze, the only outward sign of nerves a few beads of perspiration popping out on his brow.

Integra stared at the intruder. She should report him to Ferguson; there was no excuse for this. The new recruits knew what areas were off-limits, and when. Discipline had to be enforced; a soldier that couldn't follow orders had no place here.

Integra scrutinized the soldier's carefully impassive expression. She was sorely tempted to take out some of her temper on such a convenient target, but she found her anger at his intrusion fading as she watched the soldier sweat out his fear. She couldn't solve her own problems, but maybe she could give the kid a break.

Provided, of course, he had a good enough reason for being here tonight. She let some of her remaining irritation show in her voice.

"What are you doing here Private?" The young man's eyes dropped to her face in surprise, not expecting a question. Recovering himself he straightened his shoulders, staring over her head, saluting smartly.

"Ma'am, my sergeant says I need practice"

"Did your sergeant also tell you this place is off limits after dark?"

He flushed "Yes Ma'am"

"You risk being sent back to the army for deliberately disobeying orders. Why is that?" she asked

The Privates' face got a shade redder. "My sergeant said I shoot like a girl, Ma'am. He's going to send me home anyway if I can't get a passing score on the next test" he looked at her a bit desperately. "It's tomorrow Ma'am"

_Shoot like a girl_? She would have a private word with Peter, it sounded like something he'd say. She usually ignored the sexist shit, but tonight it aggravated her.She decided at that moment that this 'girl' was going to help this soldier pass his test.

Without further ado, she instructed him to load and start shooting, watching critically as the young man made mistake after mistake handling the unfamiliar gun, a modified Walther P99. The Hellsing militia used custom weapons and silver ammunition, a fact that some of the new recruits inevitably had problems with. Silver was heavy and soft, and guns using silver ammunition required jacketed rounds and more gunpowder to be accurate at any usable range. She soon lost herself in working with her pupil, showing him how to hold the pistol for better control and how to handle the recoil. After an hour the young soldier was showing significant progress and Integra was satisfied. He was not an expert marksman by any means, but he would pass.

She realized she had actually enjoyed herself tonight. The two made small talk while Daniels packed his gear, Integra getting her practice clips ready to resume her interrupted recreation. She looked forward to a relaxing evening. Sliding a clip into her Browning 9mm, she glanced up when she noticed her pupil had gone silent. He was staring over her shoulder.

Integra turned, coming face to face with a wall of red wool, almost sticking her gun in Alucard's stomach. He was looking down at her, his face lost in shadows beneath the rim of his hat. She could see her own reflection in his glasses, her face frowning in annoyance.

"You needed to see me?" she asked, one eyebrow raised.

"I wanted to see what you were doing, you weren't in your office" his red gaze rested briefly on Daniels "I figured you would be making excuses to the council for the mission last night. Those old men won't believe you anyway, why try to explain anything?" his tone was scornful, and Integra felt her back stiffen, her anger returning. How she dealt with the other knights was none of his business, and up till now she hadn't been aware he gave a damn one way or the other about how they saw her leadership skills. That he should bring it up in front of one of her men was inexcusable.

Alucard was out of line, and she didn't need this crap, especially not tonight. Not when she was just starting to unwind. Her frown deepened in warning.

He ignored her, gliding around to stand at her side, watching Daniels with interest. The young soldier straightened his shoulders, snapping a salute to Integra. She nodded curtly, dismissing him. Picking up his pack, he shot the vampire a measuring look, then thanking Integra again, left the range. Alucard grinned nastily, watching him until the steel door closed with a bang.

Integra also watched Private Daniels go, feeling uneasy. The new recruits rarely came in direct contact with Alucard, and he generally avoided contact with them. The way Alucard had watched Daniels was not lost on her, he was in one of his moods. It looked like she wasn't the only one who had had a bad day. Most folks just got cranky, but when Alucard was being pissy, it could be fatal for whoever had the misfortune to cross his path. She knew him well enough by now to know he would try to make trouble for Daniels, taking advantage of the young man's ignorance of his nature. Integra made sure her servant knew not to cross that line.

"Leave him alone" she said without preamble. "That's an order. He doesn't know who he's dealing with"

Alucard took out the Casull, chambering a round, casually sighting down the barrel at one of Integra's targets. He slid a sideways glance at her. Disobedience would mean an unpleasant few months of crap jobs in exchange for a momentary distraction. It was testimony to his mood that he was considering messing with Daniels at all.

"He shouldn't have been in here tonight" his expression turned cruel "Someone needs to punish him if you won't" Alucard had raised his gun to point at the ceiling; the long silver barrel of the Casull glittering in the range lights. He glided closer to his master, watching her face for any sign of indecision.

Annoyed, Integra stepped back, putting distance between them. She knew better than to rise to his bait. She was not about to give him permission to do what he wanted tonight. She adjusted her glasses, perching them on her nose to get a better look at his face. What she saw was not reassuring.

"Leave him alone, I'm in no mood for your games" she snapped.

"I can't think of why you would think I would play games" he moved toward her again, trying to look harmless and failing utterly. Integra stepped back, eying him.

"Then go back to your chambers, leave Daniels alone. That is my order"

He remained where he was, his expression cunning. Integra realized he was reading her. He knew how she was feeling tonight, and he was exploiting her weakness.

She watched him, acutely aware she was at a disadvantage. The range was deserted, and she no power over him but her own authority, an authority in which she had less than perfect faith lately.

"Why are you still here, servant?" she was relieved to hear her voice was firm.

He grinned, showing teeth. She took another involuntary step back, an innate sense of self preservation forcing her to put more distance between them.

"You have allowed me to feed on the occasional human in the past, but for the last few weeks I have killed nothing but the undead" He followed her retreat.

She kept moving, reluctant to let him within striking distance, while the rational part of her mind knew that just being in the same building with him was dangerous. He could move faster than sight.

Shecollided with the bunker wall. When had she moved back that far? he was suddenly in front of her, hands on the wall trapping her between his arms. She could demand he move, but that would be admitting she was afraid, and she would never show him fear. He was toying with her, the realization made her anger flare to life again, pushing the fear aside.

His voice came from next to her ear "It has been too long since I've had a fresh meal"

She was still holding her gun. Her hand clenched around the butt, her thumb snapping the safety off with a tiny click. Her face remained impassive, looking sideways at the vampire's profile, his teeth inches from her neck.

"I can smell your blood" his voice was soft. "The life is there, just under the skin" his whisper raised goose bumps on her arms, his teeth a hairsbreadth from her neck. Moving his right hand from the wall, he ran a gloved finger lightly over her pulse, making her jump slightly. She brought the muzzle of the Browning up under his chin.

Integra slid to her left, ducking under his arm, moving her throat away from those teeth while keeping the gun jammed to his jawbone.

She looked into those cold red eyes. She could sense him pushing at her mind, could feel her control sliding away even as her finger tightened on the trigger, a fine tremor starting from the effort to keep him out.

"How _dare_ you try that" she said tightly, a drop of sweat forming on her temple. It was getting harder to resist the pull of his will. She had never had to fight him like this before, she didn't know how much longer she would be able to hold her shield. "You cannot harm me, Servant" her hand was visibly shaking now "You cannot take what I will not willingly give"

If she had to blow his head off to stop this, she would. It wouldn't kill him, but it was doubtful even he could maintain his concentration while he pulled his skull back together. She could be long gone by the time he was ready to resume this game. But it wouldn't resolve anything. Her running away would not solve anything.

_Pull the trigger. I dare you _His voice was in her head, but he had stopped the mind tricks. Apparently he was still reading her thoughts. His eyes narrowed as he waited to see what she would do.

Integrafelther knees go weak, but she remained on her feet, gun still held against his face. Now that he had stopped trying to force her to his will, she was unwilling to shoot him just to prove her point.

Sensing victory, Alucard lost no time in making good his escape. Backing away from the barrel of the Browning, suddenly he was standing by the door. Integra still held the gun at arms length where he had left her.

"If you will not give me what I want, I shall provide for myself" he looked into the middle distance for a moment. "Private Daniels has not yet left the area" the vampire grinned nastily.

Integra couldn't believe what she was hearing. "You will not touch any of my men. Do you understand me, Servant?" even to her own ears the words rang hollow.

"I am allowed to defend myself. If _he_ chooses to shoot me, I will do as I will, _Integra_" He vanished.

She had been correct in her earlier assumption; Alucard was out to make trouble. The young soldier was dead the minute he pulled the trigger. Alucard would show no mercy. Integra felt sick as she saw Daniel's face in her minds eye, his gratitude as she helped him practice. She had to stop this. She had to regain control. The alternative was nightmare.

Integra ran to the door. Outside the range building, the only illumination was the pale silver light of the now risen moon. She continued on the path to the barracks, scanning the area for any shape or movement that would tell her where Private Daniels could be. As she ran past the end of the cement bunker, she stopped, her stomach tightening into a knot of fear. She was already too late.

The tableau was being played out on the lawn near the path 500 meters away. The two principals were facing each other, the distant figures like dolls in the moonlight. Private Daniels had nearly reached the barracks when Alucard had found him, too far away for Integra to intervene in time. She broke into a sprint, her only hope to get within shooting range. She didn't have silver in her gun, but the heavy practice rounds should pack enough power to gain the soldier some time. As the vampire walked slowly toward Daniels, the young man raised his gun. Alucard grinned, anticipating the meal to come.

Integra sprinted toward the combatants, the Browning against her shoulder. She was still more than 200 meters away when Daniels gestured with his weapon at Alucard, warning him off. The vampire didn't slow his advance, deliberately provoking an attack. The young man raised the P-99, sighting down the barrel as Integra had shown him earlier. There was no time to lose.

Sliding to a halt on the gravel path, Integra sighted down the barrel of her own gun, trying to slow her breathing to get better aim. As soon as she had her target in her sights, she fired.

Alucard jerked, staggering backwards, turning toward where the shot had been fired. The lower half of his face was gone, but the jaw was already healing, the teeth and chin knitting together rapidly. Private Daniel's own face was white, he had been close enough to see the damage that bullet had done. He looked in the same direction as the vampire. The Director was lowering her weapon, watching the two men warily.

The sound of running feet was loud on the gravel path.

"What's this now?" Sergeant Ferguson yelled. He was half dressed, pulling on his tunic as he approached the scene. He had heard the shot from his office, where he had been working late. Alucard faded quickly into the shadows, abandoning his quarry. The older man stared at where the vampire had been standing a moment before, then seeing the gun in the soldier's hand, he quickly took it from the young mans limp fingers. The barrel was cold. Peter felt a rush of relief, Daniels was damn lucky he hadn't fired on the Hellsing Vampire.

"Get back to the barracks, soldier! Be quick about it. I'll talk to you later" He watched, irritated, as the terrified man bolted. He was at a full run within seconds.

Sir Hellsing was approaching along the path to the firing range. She was carrying her gun, pointed now at the ground.

"What was this about?" he asked as his boss reached him. "What was Alucard doing? I've never known him to attack a human unprovoked, and the boy didn't shoot" his eyes searched the shadows nearby, then he turned to make sure his recruit had reached the safety of the barracks. He would discipline the young man in the morning, his pale face had told Ferguson that he had had enough for one night.

"A small misunderstanding, Peter" Integra said tiredly. Now that Daniels was safe, the adrenaline rush had left her nerves raw, she was exhausted. "I'm handling it" she didn't need this crisis between Alucard and herself to become common knowledge. She changed the subject.

"You told young Daniels that he shoots like a girl?" Shaking her head at the sudden flush staining the Sergeants' cheeks "He knows better now, I think. He will pass exam tomorrow" She gave Peter a crooked smile. "I'm going to bed"

Integra holstered her gun, exhausted and frightened by the events tonight. Was she losing control of Alucard? It was too much for her tired mind to accept. She began the short walk back to the house. She detoured past the front door, knowing that Walter was waiting for her, and not wanting to talk to anyone else tonight. She would go in through her office, the patio doors were always left unlocked until the house was secured for the night. As she climbed the steps to the wide porch, she turned to look out at the moonlit lawn.

"Integra" Alucard appeared beside her. His face showed no expression, she had no clue what was going through his mind right now.

"Yes?" she let her irritation show in her voice.

"Why didn't you shoot before?" he was watching her expression intently.

Integra thought for a moment. "I knew you couldn't harm me" she lifted the Browning. "You were lucky I didn't have silver in this tonight, I wouldn't have let that stop me from shooting you to keep you from killing him" she narrowed her eyes, letting him know she was still angry "We will speak of your disobedience tomorrow, Servant" she said. "Be sure it will not go unpunished"

Alucard bowed "I will await your orders, Master" he sounded genuinely contrite. Integra felt some of her weariness return as she watched as her Servant fade back into the night.

He had been there for her when her uncle would have killed her; he had backed her up countless times when she herself was in mortal danger. She had been reminded tonight that he was not human, that she needed to be strong to keep the world safe from his kind. She realized that she was the only one that could do this job. She smiled to herself. She found she was ready to face the council tomorrow. To Hell with the old men. None of them had half the balls _she_ had. Her step was a little lighter as she headed into the house.

In the shadows, Alucard grinned.


End file.
